After my pretty sick run at FTP, falling victim to the crack errm rush poker, I took a beating a stars as well. So I did the sensible thing and stepped away for a bit. After a while I had to get back into action though, and as the pitty of a bankroll dictated it, I made my way down to the depths of donkeyland. To make a long story short, they had a field-day squashing the remainder of my roll and I’m officially busto at stars as well.

I will spare you all the details, but let me say this much: play wasn’t pretty, it wasn’t logical and it sure as hell wasn’t correct strategically or mathematically, but it was “right” in the sense that they got the best of me. Who cares if they’re just 5-20% to win in 95% of the cases? Usually that would be me, at least if I would win 95% of those cases or even anywhere close to that, hell I’ll take 50%…but as you already know that wasn’t the case…the curse of the real bad run, when you know you’re fucked even though you push it in leaving your opponent 4 outs or less…

In related news there was a home-game a few weeks back and with my abstinence from online donkin, I was more than happy to play some live poker. The end result was close to the online results, hell, it was the same shit tbh. I could get some hands together, playing my heart out, but once the big pots came around, I couldn’t catch a break. I can honestly say that I didn’t have one hand hold up in a crucial pot.

Let me give you a few examples: I started the evening coming out of the gates firing. Raise, raise, raise, raise. I win a few small pots in a row. My reasoning is simple: I’ve got a crowd of gamblers at the table and they don’t mind making incorrect plays (e.g. calling big raises preflop, chasing with incorrect odds, etc), there’s only one player that plays really sound strategy and I’ve got position on him. My strategy works out beautifully as I look down at QQ after raising and winning the last 5 pots. I raise again big preflop in LP and get one caller. Once the flop comes down ten high, I push all-in as my opponent only has got 1.5x the pot left. I get instacalled by jackAce off. Before I can say shit the Aceball hits the turn and I take a hit. On the next hand I raise big again, holding AQs. I get the same caller again. The flop comes Axx and after it’s checked to me I push all-in again. I get snap-called by KK. Turn blank…river king. Fuck me. I bow out once my next AQs can’t connect against JJ and I’m busto. Fucking A++.

So, to make a long story short, I guess you won’t be hearing any online poker news from me in the upcoming weeks as I’m taking a real break this time…I wish you better luck than me…good luck at the tables and peace out…

That’s how you do promos folks, reel in the sucker with a promise of “free” money, then skin him alive and laugh at him. Well played folks.

I’m pretty much fed up with all the bs, so I won’t even bother to complain about the “sick” hand here, and “sicker” hand there…I’ll just do one final pic dump and I’m off…never to touch ftp again…the following pics depict my play on ftp from march 6th to march 14th…

1. Oooh, Aces vs Queens and they actually hold up…too bad shorty got it in, winning me a grand total of under 2 bucks…

2. Ace King? Nooo goot, obv 67s00ted is the nuts…standard 3.5bet before the flop, shove on the flop…insta-called…

3. I won a flip? Rigged…exactly! That’s why I lose the next 100 in a row…

4. I fold Kings preflop after a 3bet and 4bet reshove…of course the fonkeys have an ace each…two outs would have been good nontheless…good fold me…

5. Three jacks no g00t…how I managed to lose the minimum is still a mystery…

6. 4:1 favourite? In FTP math that’s like 3% to win…

7. Dominated? You’re going to lose, period.

8. Flopping to set? Not enough against jackAce s000000000ted…obviously!

9. Who needs twenty outs? Noone, three are always enough against me…end of story…

10. If you still didn’t get the memo…I said three outs are enough…

11. Hello, keep up…three outs are still enough…don’t you listen?

12. 3 best is the nuts…I can live with losing with second best…

13. Flopping dem quads is a nice feeling…getting junk kicked afterwards and bubbling…not so much…

14. Best in worst out…always a kick…especially against two undercards…lol…

15. Playing the pros…two thirds and two junk-kicks…just the right ratio to go insane slowly…

16. First hand, always the right moment to run into the BB special…

17. Waw? You still didn’t get the 3out-memo? Wtf…try to keep up…!

18. which leads us to this beauty…

The end…

Dumped a few bucks making stupid moves, the biggest money drains were the usual hands though:

1. Pop it from the hijack with AsKs…get repopped, shove..instacall by Ah Kh…the rest is the usual

2. Call a raise in the BB with 77, shorty comes along in MP. Flop 8T6 all spades. Check, check, small bet. Call by me, shorty calls all-in short. Turn 9c. Straight baby. Check, small bet, min-raise, call. River 9s. Yikes. Check, ultra-small bet, donk call. Of course he rivered a boat.

3. Pop it from the hijack with AJs000000ted. Flat call from the button – hmm. Flop AJ6 all hearts though. Don’t care, bet pot, repop, shove, instacall by AcKc. Noice. Turn 6…river K…fuck me…

4. Pop it from UTG with QQ, small repop BB, call. Flop 688 bet, shove…ponder ponder…if you got me you got me – of course he got me, what was I thinking? lol

The new found ev tells me that I deserved to lose a little, but it also shows that I’ve been running nicely under ev…surprised? Not really. Anyway..not really pissed off, just tired and outta here…

Reason 1: I can’t get any traction what so ever, well, if you don’t count accelerating faster and faster downwards into a bottom-less pit.

Reason 2: Poker used to be fun, win or lose, didn’t bother me all that much either way (obv not at all while winning)…nowadays I’m frustrated either way as it’s either a “break even” or slim result (thanks rake) or a devastating loss.

Reason 3: I’m fed up posting bs hand after bs hand, no matter if I put it in 4:1, 3:1, 2:1, 1:1, preflop, postflop, on the turn, on the river…doesn’t matter…if it’s a small or totally irrelevant pot, sure I win here and there, but come crunch time I get my nuts crunched like they’re walnuts.

Reason 4: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! Nuff said…

So, I’m outta here, once again telling myself that I should take a break, let’s see if I can stick to it this time…we’ll see…

Tonight was pretty brutal, so I quit after 8 6max-SnGs. I ran into some coolers, lost all flips for all the marbles (2, KQs vs 22 and KTs vs 55) and I got kicked badly in some others. In the end I managed to win 1…that’s it. Pretty fugly.

Tonight, I’ve got four screenshots for you:
#1: We’re on the bubble and I openshove with QQ, get called by A7 s00000000000ted….of course 3 outs are 100% to win

#2: Cutoff limps in, button folds, small blind fills up, I knuckle the virtual felt with 44. Flop comes down 6T4…SB checks, I check, cutoff bets half the pot, SB folds, I call. Turn is a King. I’m hoping that my opponent got AK. I knuckle the virtual felt again, this time my opponent bets pot. I paused for 2ms telling myself that if he indeed has KK (or 66 or TT for that matter) then he got my money. Instead he shows AA…river A.

#3: Folded around to the button…he openshoves for 3.5BB (or whatever)…I insta-reshove AT…of couse he flops the world+1 and I’m left with 8BB…

#4: We’re once again on the bubble, button raises to 3x…SB folds, I instashove with AJ, button instacalls with A3 s00000000000ted….of course the 3 outs are golden and I’m busto…

Love it, just love it…enjoy the pics to said hands and the fugly pt graph to top thing off….I’m outta here…

Oh, before I forget it: for all the rush players who happen to be PT3 users as well, check out the newest beta which was just released, it supports rush now…the end of “no data” rush as we knew it…enjoy…

Not much more I gotta tell you atm, except that it’s a good feeling to finally note down a winning session, albeit a short one, but who cares…enjoy the random pic dump and I’m outta here (the first 9 snaps are from yesterday, the rest from today, pt graph only showing the 4 SnGs, not the DS…time I figured out how to filter properly in PT3 I guess…hints on how to filter something like “last x tournaments” would be appreciated)…

Situation one: We started out with a table of nine. After around 90hands, we’re down to three and I’m the chipleader. Wheeee. Then the shorty (2.8k with 300/600 blinds) goes all-in from the button. I look down at 77 in the BB and after the SB folds I instacall. He shows 67 s0000ted. Flop gives him a straight draw which completes on the turn leaving me with 3 outs to a fucking chop (6). Of course the river bricks and the donktard doubles up and I’m left with around 2.4k instead of being headsup with a 7 to 5 chip lead. Fast forward to my next BB. I look at AQ s0000ted. SB shoves I instacall. He shows KQo (see below). K on the turn and I’m busto. Thumbs up stars, you’ve monkeyfucked me in a crucial pot for the 1 trillionth time.

As you see, 3 outs are gold. Weird though that everytime I find myself in a 3 outer spot, well, let’s just say I hit it about average. My opponents though hit a grand-slam homerun every single time it’s a crucial pot. How come?

In the 6 max one, I’m at the final table. About five hands in, a trend is forming. One player keeps overshoving the pot. I guess it’s part of his/her strategy as 6th place pays 0, so chances are slim someone is calling without the nuts. Wrong. Once the donktard shoves from the SB over my button raise, I basically instacall with my nines. AQ s0000000ted is my opponent. Flop flush draw…turn blank…river ace…cya. Nice! Now, losing a flip shouldn’t throw me over the edge and after that flop it would have been foolish to believe my hand could ever hope up, but still I’m fed up with this shit. Everytime I flip for a small amount in a dumb pot, I win. Everytime I flip for a crucial pot, I lose. Believe me, this is probably just the tilted analysis, but I’m going to check all my stats in PT3 for sure and I’m willing to lay 2:1 that my 50% looks more like 30% over all the hands I’ve played….(chips/money wise, not win/lose)…I’ll get back to you about that…anyway…I’m outta here…

Mood: Steam-tilt; thinking about quitting online poker for good – just one of these days, I guess…

Teeeheee mofos! I could go on about the cooler here and the cooler there, but what use is it? It’s tough to stay sane if you run into bs after bs…add to that, that it’s sometimes so hard not to overcommit when everyone is on crack and what are the chances someone has a higher pair than your JJ and QQ when it folds around to you – hint: not all that high…in rush it feels like 97,5%…

…and quicker than you can say “get the fuck out of here”, you’ve got one hell of a bad run that is unprecedented. All in all it took me 4.129 hands to go busto, should have been busto before that, but after getting aces cracked left and right I was able to crack ‘em myself, just in time to give me a few extra hands…hehe…anyway…hawesome how I kept away from FTP exactly for that bs as I couldn’t catch a break, no I run back to the poker crack dealer and they got exactly what I need…getting kicked in the junk four times as much per hour….nice.

Some fun stats:
- Lost 0.05$ per hand
- #1 hand dealt 96o (54 times)
- Most money won (total): QQ 23.27 (dealt 25 times, won 22 times)
- Most money lost (total) AQ -39,63 (dealt 39 times, won 24 times)
- Only winning position: UTG (lol)

I’m feeling kind of numb right now…so I’ll let you enjoy the final rush pic dump and I’m outta here…not to return to FTP for at least the next 1.5 years…or maybe I should make it 3 as the first 1.5 years obviously didn’t do any good…