…aka how to get back from the road to insanity and turn 2$ into 215 (T)$ 🙂

Wow, after the last few weeks of ultimate bad luck, today was the quickest turnaround (money-wise) I’ve ever encountered. Oooooh what a rush. I’m still a little in shock. I started off by playing some PL 5-Card-Draw this morning. Back to basics, take a break from hold’em, plus it’s 6 handed (SnG), so it fits my style of tight-aggressiveness (basically start out with two pair/trips or better or a decent draw (OESD, OESD+Flushdraw, Flushdraw if it’s cheap early, etc), control the pot-size and fold when you think you’re beat). It worked out pretty nicely and I scored second. It should have been a W, but who cares? Should have, would have, could have is all hypothetical (when HU began I was 3:1 in chips, but I couldn’t finish him off after that, I had the chance once or twice, but he smelled that he was beat and got out with a few chips left; then he went on a total tear and I couldn’t do much about it…set over set…two pair over two pair etc and I had the worst of it).

Tonight, I started off with the same thing. PL 5-Card-Draw SnG. I did fairly well, despite not getting payed off with my monsters (pat nut flush etc). I had the best of it when a big pot came around and well…in the end it was a tough fight, but I had the best again (two pair over two pair). So a W it was and I was both relieved and energized, so I jumped into a triple shootout to the sunday million. It didn’t go all that well. No major suckouts or anything, it was just not going my way (draws not coming through etc). I thought about it and I decided to try another one…it was very slow to fill up, so I started to listen to the newest episode of Ante Up. Once the tourney began I paused and focused on playing the best I could. On table one, I was all-in one time with the best hand (coinflip 55 vs A6 and presto held up, what?! Yes, I won a coinflip right off the bat!)…so I was off to a good start. The rest of the first table is a blurr, I took it down.

After that I played the waiting game as there were still some tables going. After a while they were finally done and the second table was under way. I won some smaller pots early on, than lost some, than won some again. I just played a patient game and it was rewarded, boy was it rewarded. All the cards that I had been missing over the last few weeks came in, in a hurry. We are down to four handed and I went on a total tear. I had a hand-counted number of 4x AA and they all held up (I either won a small pot or busted someone)…and soon enough it was all said and done and I had won the second table, fittingly with the fourth pocket Aces of the night.

Then it was time for the waiting game again…two tables were still battling it out and I waited…after another 10 minutes the final table started and I was a little nervous. You know how all those thoughts come creepin into your mind once it’s crunch time? I shook it off though and started to fold, fold, fold, fold. After a few hands and the x-th button steal(-attempt) I finally called…a pretty loose call with Ks5s, but hey, he can’t have the nuts every hand. Flop comes down with two spades and he fires a continuation bet in. I call, hoping to see a third spade on the turn. Dealer turns…and it’s the most beautiful Ace of spades I’ve ever seen giving me the nut flush. He pays my bets off and I’m sitting pretty with over 3k. Nice! From the on I went into rock-solid mode again. KK UTG, raise…all-fold…yay…another big pair and it held up…the next few orbits are a blurr and once we’re down to three-handed (bubble-time) the action is fast and loose and I look down at one 63o, 48o, 93o after the other. So I fold fold fold, at least I’m not getting into trouble, except for the fact that I’m slowly getting short…then “THE” hand occurs…I have slightly under 2k…the other two splitting the remaining 7k among themselves get into a raise-war preflop…after the second reraise they’re all-in! I jump up from my seat and can’t believe my luck…there are three scenarios here:

1. Player 1 wins…and it’s over with

2. Player 2 wins…and Player 1 is crippled (400 chips)

3. Split pot and we’re back to square one…

I like my chances as they show 77 and TT…the tens hold up…scenario 1 it is…and it’s all over!!!!!!!!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! How much one win can mean, especially considering the circumstances. Man, I’m so relieved now and this is the first time in weeks that the “destined to be”-part wasn’t me “getting busted”, but me “taking it down” 🙂

So…I jumped into the sunday million tourney tab to have a look…

Good to see my name there up on the “big one” list, but I’m not all too crazy about playing it. First of all, the win (215(T)$) will be a nice compensation for the recent bad run and secondly, I don’t want to push the envelope here. Playing such a tourney with such an unreal amount of players isn’t for me, at least not now. How’s the old saying? “It takes more than one swallow to make a summer” – and I think that’s exactly what it is…one swallow along a big group of big Ls or the first step on the road to redemption. So…I unregistered pretty quickly and I’m looking forward to use the tourney dollars to fuel my “comeback run” at the SnG tables…wish me luck 🙂

…crappin on my head all the time. I mean come on, this isn’t funny anymore and I’m seriously considering quitting, for good I mean – which most certainly comes down to a few weeks off and then coming back, because I just can’t help it.

Seriously though, I’m starting to feel like Negreanu on last season’s High Stakes Poker. Someone is having a blast torturing me, crapping on me, then kicking me in the nuts watching me fall, then crapping on me again as I lay on the ground. I’m about to go nuts…and I’m not even talking about the 60/40 hands (where I won exactly 0 going in as the 40% part and maybe 20% when I went in on the 60% part), I’m talking about the cold-deck bs…I’m starting to wonder if PokerStars has flipped the “must lose, all, fast”-switch on me or something, nothing better than to get a nice hand which is or evolves into the second best hand, at all times. Now I’m usually laughing at such claims, but this is getting so spooky that I need to blame someone, so why not Stars.

I realize that I’ve been in the same mood for what seems to be an eternity and I apologize for writing about running bad, injustice and/or suckouts post after post after post. It’s just that I’m currently cosumed by this whole mess. There’s no doubt in my mind that I’m responsible for some of the losses along the way, because ultimately, I’m so insecure and tiltable atm that I tend to “give it a shot” here and there…or when was the last time you heard me writing about taking 40%-shots for all the money on purpose?! But still, even with that in mind, there’s no way I can lose that much, it’s just nearly impossible – although mathematically speaking it’s not…after all you can lose 100 coinflips in a row or more for that matter, it’s all within the normal variance they say, that fact doesn’t give you any comfort though if you’re caught in the bad zone where…

…you lose all coinflips

…you lose all hands where you are the underdog

…you lose all crucial hands (where you go in with the best (anywhere from 70-98% favourite) for all the marbles)
Examples of the usual hands: AQ…flop comes Ace high…bet, reraise, reraise, reraise, push…lemur shows A5 for a pair of Aces no kicker, no flush draw but a runner runner straight draw to the wheel…turn, there you go, river, there you go, boom headshot.

AJ…flop comes down Ace high (AKx)…bet, reraise, reraise, reraise, push…lemur shows AK…wheeeeeee….no miracle for me…

77 vs AA…

Side note: I didn’t have any pair higher than Jacks in ages, no Queens, no Kings, no Aces and if I have them, they get me busted and not because I can’t lay them down if the boards + betting tell me too, I do lay them down there, but not against runner runner draws or 2-4 outers…AK/AQ/AJ is usually worthless and even if I hit it, someone hits better or sucks out on 4th/5th street…and don’t even get me starting on hitting sets with small pocket pairs…I can’t even count the number of times I had deuces, treys or fours over the last few weeks…and low and behold I flopped two sets….losing one to a runner runner straight…
Can someone shoot me, please…?!

Well, same ole same ole on the poker front. Nothing, I repeat nothing, going my way. Logged on to Stars and stumbled upon the WWdN. I didn’t expect to see it happening so “early” (1:30am), I had missed that DST had kicked in so ET isn’t +6 atm but +5. So…the WWdN had already begun (1min), so I jumped right in. In retrospect I wish I had missed it all together.

Played almost no hands until it was time for some coin-flipping. Someone raises in MP, I reraise in LP…he pushes…I’m stuck here with JJ and I think I have the best hand, although it’s probably a coin-flip. I got the pusher covered by slightly under 500…and I decide to go with it. Sure enough he shows AK. Flop…contains…a King….wheeeeeee….what a surprise. Turn and river are blank and I’m sitting there with one third of my original stack. Was I forced to play that coin-flip? No. Did I believe I had the best hand? Yes. Did I have the best hand? Yes. Did I win the coin-flip? Hell no. I don’t keep that statistic, but it feels like I haven’t won a coin-flip in a SnG or MTT for ages. I don’t know what it is, but I just can’t win one these days and it doesn’t even matter if I got the overs or the pocket pair. One way or another I’ll lose the hand, whether it’s my opponent hitting the overcard, the runner runner flush/straight, or me not hitting my overs. It’s sad, really and if I wasn’t running so bad anyway, I probably wouldn’t even mention this hand, but as it is, it’s just another chapter in the “can’t I win a god damn hand”-book. So I’m basically crippled (or close to it) and I decide to go with the next semi-playable hand. I wait and wait…then I get Jacks again in the BB…and I get a walk…nice…at least I didn’t lose the coinflip (which would have evolved most certainly there if someone decided to play with me in that hand)…so I wait and wait again until I finally hold A5o on the button, which was basically a monster at that point. I pop it to 120 (blins 15/30). I got slightly under 300 left behind, so this is clear indication that I’m going to go with it. Nontheless the BB calls. Hmm…maybe I should have open-pushed here? I don’t know. Flop comes down 9c4s5c…he checks…I push…he insta-calls…he shows 10c7c…hmm…flush draw…alrighty…turn 6h…river 7d…that’ll do it. So…I’m out after slightly over 30 minutes of play and I’m frustrated…two hands…one coinflip lost and one lemur-donk-call preflop with the monster T7 s0000000000000000ted and I’m gone…the joy…

So, I was about to log off, but then I remembered that Al wrote about a HORSE freeroll tonight and as it turns out (thanks to the DST) it’s about to start…wheee…limit…HORSE…nothing better than playing against a bunch of chasing donks who don’t have a clue how limit is supposed to play – if you got a good hand, isolate preflop, if someone is raising and you got a strong hand reraise ffs, get the lemurs out or at least make them pay dearly for their donk-calling. As you can imagine, no such joy though for the most part, so I was pretty tilted after the first round of HORSE and I lost it in the second Omaha round. I decided to donkey-raise every friggin street no matter what. Result: I sucked out a flush on the river against Bobby Bracelet and took down a nice pot. What does this tell us? You should realize that that’s one of the, if not the, reason why donkeys play the way they do, because getting lucky isn’t so far fetched, especially in games like Omaha…anyway…to make a long-story short I tried to play solidly again after that tilt-episode and it just wasn’t happening. I began to sing my “brick brick brick really makes me sick”-song after the next round of Razz where I clearly started out with the best hand numerous times and caught lovely bricks either on 4th, 5th and/or 6th or 5th, 6th and/or 7th street. Just lovely…I survived the second horse though and my run finally ended in the third Omaha round. Thanks again to Al for hosting, it was fun, at least some of the time…here’s a random pic dump from the first break and my final result…

Edit: I just had another look at some stats/graphs…so for all of those who don’t believe or doubt that I’m on a cold streak…just have a look at the following graph…wow…can you say free-fall-tower…(or maybe it’s just the yang to the yin (heater) I was on some weeks ago?!)

…running really bad is harder, running really bad is even harder. I’m glad that the running really really bad seems to be over, although I’m still in the bad level “orange”…example from an early SnG hand…he’s short and calls my raise preflop (!)…he then pushes on the the flop…I push over the top..all fold…

So not only did he call short preflop with T6o out of position, no, he also pushes on the flop with second pair no kicker and hits the turn and river like a champ. Nicely played sir. You just made my day…NOT. So instead of sitting second in chips with five players, I’m sitting with 1k with six players. Win some lose some and I’m in for the exit in 5th with A10 vs AQ…too bad I was the BB…too bad he was the SB…too bad there was an Ace on the flop…too bad that I didn’t smell it…oh well…what else is new. The next one was quite similar. Lost some big pots with the best hand, then donk-trapped myself to make yet another 5th place exit.

I then gave myself a last shot in a HU match, which I ultimately won once his card-luck ran out…he pushed his flopped MPNK into my overpair…but before that…wow…no chance the turn and/or river didn’t hit him BIG, no matter what I bet on the flop or preflop…sometimes I wonder if you have to play donkey-strategy to win at those donkey levels…then again…I was winning consistently before this bad run…playing how I always play(ed)…patient but aggressive when the hand(s) commanded it…

On another note: I don’t know if it’s all the “bad luck” I experienced recently, but in the six-handed games tonight, I felt like I lost it. I just couldn’t put some opponents on hands, even after some orbits. Now this isn’t out of the ordinary if you consider that some of the opponents you face at the donk levels are soooo out of it that it’s next to impossible to put them on a hand, but still. I feel like the cards are against me and the rest is going with it…maybe it’s time to do something different…maybe I’ll try to get my feel back by playing some MTTs again…or maybe even some cash games…we’ll see…

I made a quick exit in the BloggerPods, I’m not big on excuses, but I’m just saying that I was a little bit busy watching the EPT Germany Final table…so I didn’t mind busting early…

Thanks going out to Mike from PokerOnAMac.com for hosting the tourney, appreciated…back to EPTLive.com to watch the final four, our own Sebastian “MiamiVice” Ruthenberg from Luckbox.de is the current chipleader after winning a monster-pot with trip eights…

Edit: Ouch…Miami self-imploded down to three-handed…A5 vs KK…he had outs…but why mess with the other big stack and not sitout and wait for the shorty to bust…damn…that was one costly hand (at least 160k Euro (difference between 2nd and 3rd))… 🙁

Well, the main event was a little bit different today. For the first time in ages we had a turnout smaller than 10 players, so we settled on a single table with 9 players. Usually we have at least two tables of 6 going and shorthanded play allows you to be a bit more aggressive and “creative” with your hands. With the full ring, not so much, tonight. Cards were so and so…my best hands were AhKh which split the pot with AsKs, AQ which I had to laydown preflop to three raises, a Kx which boated up to split yet another pot and some mini-pairs (2x deuces)…so sooner or later I had to make yet another move. Good thing I didn’t make that move in the hand I had deuces for the second time. Mini-raise preflop…hmm…maybe Aces? Maybe AK/AQ/AJ? I call with the ducks…flop comes down Q86…preflop raiser bets out half the pot…hmm…I honestly thought about pushing there for a while – my reasoning being that if he indeed had AK/AJ/A10/Ax…I might as well be ahead here…then again…if he’s on AQ or better…I’m toast…so I decide to lay it down…my instincts were right…he shows AA…

Soon enough I found myself in a desperate position, yet again, and I was forced to move…no joy and I exited in 7th place. The side game was a whole different game. We played 5 handed after the next two players had busted out of the main event…and after the first few hands I pick up the first superb hand of the night…KK in the BB…two limpers…I pop it preflop…one caller…flop comes down Kxx with two spades…I bet about half the pot…call…turn pairs the board no spade though…I bet out again…call…I hope that the river brings the third spade, but it doesn’t…I lead out again and start to talk…I talk my opponent into calling and I showdown my Kings full…he mucks…nice!

A few hands later I look down at AcAd…nice! I pop it preflop and get one caller…flop comes down KcJc10c…I check…errm not really a good move….he checks behind…turn pairs Kings…I check….errm not really a good move…he checks behind…river 6s…I bet out…he reraises…hmm…couldn’t have played that hand much worse…I make a crying call..he shows 78o for the straight…man did I blow that hand. I raised preflop, I have the goods…if I check the flop…that’s okay (although leading out would be much better)…but as the turn pairs the board I need to fire at it…I would have won a small pot…instead I lost a medium pot…oh well…my bad. After some more jabbing and grabling I was able to knockout two players and my opponent knocked out the third one, so we started headsup. I was ahead…but he fired at me relentlessly…in the end 35o was good enough to win though…..unraised pot, flop comes down 367…so bottom pair + gutshot for me…I bet he pushes I call..he got two overs…I win. Nice. Then I sat down in the next sidegame which was under way…I sat down as the blinds were 30/60 (1500 starting chips, I had 1300 remaining as they had started with me still being headsup in the other sidegame)…I take down some nice pots and find myself sitting comfortable at 2500+ chips. Then everything starts to unravel. I look down at AK in the BB…we’re four handed and the other three limp…no limping under my watch here…blinds are at 50/100…so 400 in the pot…I pop it to 700…one caller…hmm…flop comes down three rags…I fire the second bullet and he calls…we check both the turn and river…and he shows A8 for the pair of eights. Option 1: I fire another shell on the turn and/or river, he calls/folds…I guess he would have called after my hesitation…Option 2: He lays down the friggin hand for 600 preflop…as if 😉

Some hands later I make my exit…I got roughly 1.1k left and I limp in the SB with Q8o…we see a flop of Q92 rainbow three-handed…I check…BB bets…MP calls…I push…BB ponders…calls…MP folds…I show my Q8…BB shows Q10…MP had folded AK…turn 9…river hmm….7…oh well…cya…

So…all in all I’m satisfied with my performance tonight…played the cards that were dealt to me, tried to play my opponent here and there, but it’s hard to win a pot if your opponent will call you down no matter what (especially if he/they keep hitting flops against you)…the only hand that I foobared was the Aces hand…but that one didn’t cost me much…so it’s all good…broke even for the night…not really good, but better than finishing the night down 😉 …I’m out…

So, back in action today. First of all I was happy to receive the first issue of Card Player Europe today, nice! That was really quick, I didn’t have the time to really read it yet, but flipping through it, it seems that it’s just what CardPlayer’s description was: part of the US issue plus content specific to europe (including numerous ads of online poker sites I’ve never heard of before). Some more good news: next live game will be this saturday, w00t! Nothing better than some live card-flinging with friends.

Excited about those news, I thought I’d try my luck with some turbo SnGs tonight. First one went fairly well, busted two players early, busted two more later on and soon enough we were ITM. My opponent (fairly even in chips) busted the shorty and we are headsup…about 10 hands later I have a disgusted look on my face as he calls my preflop all-in (J10 s00ted) with the powerful 75 s00ted…sure enough flop comes down 567…thank you very much. Oh well, second place, not all that bad. So I open up the next one and I find myself with AQo in the SB in the very first hand. One limper in MP…all others fold…so I decide to pop it to 80…BB ponders and folds…limper calls…flop comes down Queen high…I bet out…he reraises me…I reraise him…he pushes…hmm…son…I think you’re full of shit…probably KQ/QJ or something…I call…he shows QTo…weeeeeee…..turn 10…thank you…

I congratulate him on his marvellous play and he defends his “groovy” play by saying “but I’m the one who pushed all-in and you called” errrm yeah donkbag…maybe, just maybe I’m supposed to call here with an 87%/12% edge…but maybe that’s just me…I’m out…

Not much poker today, just the WWdN. Played the hammer beautifully in the second hand: dealt the hammer on the button, one standard-raiser in MP, I reraise to 150…all fold…he calls…flop comes down three rags including a deuce…he checks…I bet 200 and take down the pot. A few hands later I find ducks…raise…one caller…flop three rags…check…I bet pot…call…turn rag…I check I bet half pot…call…river pairs sixes…he leads out with 300…I’m getting 2:1 and it might be a busted flush draw…but I fold…next hand I get AKo…standard raise preflop…one caller…flop comes down Ax2…check…I bet…call…turn 10…check…I bet…call…river Q..check…I bet…he calls…he shows 22…hmm…weird…why not a single reraise here?! Oh well…down to 700 odd chips…take some small pots…up to 1k…moved to another table…tourist in the BB…sox raises from the SB…I call…flop comes down 678 two spades…sox checks…I bet 60…sox calls…mistake nr.2…turn blank…sox checks…I bet 60…sox calls…mistake nr. 3…river 4s…Sox bets 90…i type “why do i think i’m a bluetooth here” and call…mistake nr. 4…sox shows…flush jack high…could I have played this hand any worse? It could have cost me more (if I push on the flop and he decides to call), but the way it went down…I lost minimum I guess…still horrible…

Next hand I fold A4…next hand I push with KJo from the button…BB wakes up with the s00ted tourist…good enough to call my 655 bet…and cya…

Summary: I don’t know what it is, but I played like crap. There I said it. I played like crap and I deserved to get knocked out early. Out in 37th of 47.

At least I got some more reading material now as another book arrived today, the professor, the banker and the suicide king…I guess I’ll read that parallel to the Navarro stuff, which is kind of heavy…this one should keep me entertained…a little more uptodate entertainment should be provided by Card Player (Europe)…I was planning on subscribing to at least one of the major card magazines (Bluff, CardPlayer, ..) for a while now and I finally did it, although their international rates suck…so I settled for Card Player Europe for now…” Combining the best articles from the magazine’s U.S. edition with additional content customized for European readers, Card Player Europe offers local tournament news, European player and venue profiles, and advertising that uniquely addresses the needs and interests of European audiences. ” (Source: CardPlayer Store)…sounds good…sign me up…can’t go wrong with a 1-year subscription for twenty bucks…I’m looking forward to it…let’s see how long delivery of the first issue takes…I’m out…

…at least that’s what I keep telling myself and it worked out pretty good tonight – not that I won anything, close but no cigar, but at least I took the usual beats with a smile. So, basically…I’m still trying to get back to normal, but things aren’t coming together, at least not yet.

Just like I promised myself (and you, my readers), I didn’t play a single hand of poker over the entire weekend and tbh, I didn’t miss it all that much either. I guess that’s easy to say when you’re running as bad as I was/am. But really, it made me think that maybe I should incorporate the “poker-free day(s)”-concept into my playing schedule, after all the consistent grind can wear you out, especially if you take the worst of it on such a cold run. If you’re running bad enough, everything will go wrong…but I’ll come back to that topic later.

Before I get to a closer look of tonight’s session, I’d like to take a moment to talk about some other poker related things.

1. I started to read Navarro’s book on tells (or “non-verbal behaviour”) and so far, I really like it. Some of the things he’s talking about in the first pages of the book make you wonder: How many of these things have I thought about so far? Did I spot something like this before? As I said, I’m just through the first twenty odd pages and after the introduction and everything he’s talking about the most reliable source of tells…the feet…lol…never thought of that before…but if you think about it and watch closely…he may be on to something here…although looking under the table as the flop/turn/river comes down isn’t a real possibility…although he comes up with some hints about how to spot it anyway…I’m really looking forward to the rest of the book and one thing’s for sure: this stuff can and probably will improve my live-game…although it takes work! But I’m up for the challenge…

2. Although I’m currently running bad, I’m still going to do whatever it takes to keep online poker alive, hmm, that sounds a little weird, maybe I should rephrase that to “I’m going to support the people who will do whatever they can/it takes to keep online poker alive”. So I joined the PPA a while ago (see here) and on saturday my “welcome package” arrived. It contained a letter, the membership card, a pin and a nice T-Shirt…maybe I’ll get around to take a pic of the stuff tomorrow…to make a long story short: Because I’m over here in Europe this whole US legislation doesn’t affect me personally (apart from the fact that good games could be hard to come by in the next weeks/months), but I’m not too blind to see that one thing could lead to the next and before you know it, the games dry up for good and other countries could adopt a similar stance on online poker and I don’t want that to happen. Think about it, even if that doesn’t happen, it’s still going to be a loss. Online players turn into “full time live players”, full time live players have no hand histories, no tools to track their play (to the same extent as in online poker) and before you know it, other stuff, like poker blogs, disappear too…and although that might increase workplace productivity, it would be a real shame. So, if you are (remotely) serious about your (online) game, join the PPA!
3. Full Tilt’s downtime on sunday: Bad but good. Why? Just go back and read the second paragraph. As I promised myself not to play any poker this weekend, I would have missed the bloggerpods tourney on Full Tilt, fortunately (for me) they had some server issues, so the tourney had to be postponed. I guess it’ll be played next weekend and I’m looking forward to it. Maybe I’ll get close like last time, maybe I’ll get the junk kick earlier, maybe no junk kick at all and I listen to my favourite jams on an ipod soon…who knows…one way or another, this is a cool tourney, thanks again to PokerOnAMac for hooking us up!

As for tonight’s session…I started with some “new stuff”. A cheap-ass triple shootout to the sunday million. Two bucks, short handed, chance to take down one of two seats. The first table was a real up and down and when all was said and done, I took it down. Almost an hour played, shorthanded, didn’t make any bad decisions (had to push one time with a marginal hand, because I got short, but that worked out okay…and not really a bad decision…or is it if you’re “forced to play”?). The next table was totally different though. Four out of the other five players where really “pushy”. The played almost every hand and the deck wasn’t too kind to me. I started out with the best…didn’t connect…had to let it go, time and time again. Made my exit with a 60/40 kind of hand, so not really a bad beat…it just wasn’t meant to be, but at least I got an hour of play…out in 22nd of 216.

After that I decided to try a three-table SnG and play was worse than I could imagine in my worst nightmare, really, it was THAT bad. I kicked one player out before getting my junk kicked yet again by a lovely two outer. Oh well, what else is new.

After that I went to the HU section and thought I’d give it a whirl. It was a good match, although it was kind of boring, not much between my opponent and me…first in usually takes the pot as we were battling 6-high vs 7-high on a regular basis. He was cool though, we chatted a little and I predicted that soon enough it’ll come down to one hand and to quote Scotty Nguyen “…it’s going to be all over” and I said it’s probably going to be something of the regular HU-nature, two pair vs set or something. Guess what? I was right…lol…although this isn’t too hard to predict either as it’s basically around a 33% shot (either that, T/M/BPxK vs x or monster vs monster are the usual scenarios).

I hold A4o on the button and I fire it up to 3x preflop…he calls…pot is 180 (blinds 15/30). Flop comes down A46 rainbow. Groovy! He leads out with a pot-sized bet (180). I reraise to 480, he insta-calls. Hmm…pot is 1140 (of the 3k in play) and the turn is blank (8)…he checks…I bet 400…he calls…pot is now 1940…so there’s basically no way the money isn’t going all-in…river is Kh…he pushes…now I’m worried about a small range of hands here…either AA (which would be a real cooler with the case Ace on board), AK (which would suck less, but still suck)…or he could have made a really bad call on the flop and turn and hit a set here (KK)…or I totally misjudged the situation and he had a hand similar to mine and his kicker plays as well (A6, A8)…or coolered by a flopped/turned set (44, 66, 88)…man, if you’re running bad…too many (bad) scenarios creep into your mind…maybe he has a hand that would make sense here, which is second best (AQ, AJ, A10, A9, …)…I make the crying call…and he shows?….KK for the set…now, if he any other hand mentioned above…I go straight to my closet, get out a hat and write “payoff wizard” on it…but KK…come on…two outs…again…sigh…now I don’t want to sound like a broken record here and repeat it over and over…but I just can’t help myself…why oh why? Why….oh why?

I guess the (short) weekend break wasn’t enough, as I can’t stand it…at least not any better than last week…I find myself in the same spot, complaining, moaning about the bad luck, feeling empty and annoyed and (maybe) annoying you with it…maybe I’m waaaay to deep into it all atm and I should take a longer break from it all? Maybe I should just learn to deal with it in another way? Maybe I shouldn’t play anymore at all? I really don’t know, one thing I know for sure though is the reason for all of this: I care about winning! I care about making good decisions! I care about “being better”! I care about beating my opponent(s)! I want to win every game I’m playing! I expect to win if I outplayed my opponent(s)! (I despise people “stealing” from me! I despise people making horrible plays and still winning with it! …) …I care about winning!
Maybe a bit too much – at least for a poker player?! Most certainly, as this whole “correct decision, correct play, wrong outcome, no reward”-stuff is still taking too big a toll on me. There’s no such thing as justice in poker – love it or hate it. All poker players do both…you love it when you’re running good and/or if you made a good/great play and it worked out, you hate it when you’re running bad and/or if you made a bad play or a good/great play that isn’t rewarded. The best way to deal with this fundamental “flaw” of poker, would be to be totally indifferent to results.

I’m trying to get there…but hell, it’s not easy, no, it’s HARD…and how could it be any other way?

He’s back…but just for a quickie. Stuck to my original plan not to play and full table SnGs today, only played two HU matches and no, luck didn’t change a bit, I will spare you going into too much detail as it’s obvious that I’m on a nasty unlucky downswing…so what’s the point of repeating the same sentiment over and over again (just two quick examples: K4 vs K5…flop KK5…we both slow play each other into oblivion and by the third min-re-raise I call to see the grim news…I still wonder how I could not go broke on that one; A2 vs 45 (happened twice in the same match) flop A24…major betting…turn 3….no, I didn’t go broke the first time, the second time did me in though)…

So…just a quick note that I won’t be playing this weekend, not a single SnG, not a single MTT, not a single hand, period. I think this is the kind of unlucky spell that you can’t play through, so why ruin my weekend? I’ll probably see you all at the WWdN on tuesday…until then…may all your monsters hold up and your opponents draw dead 😉