…or aren’t they? Well, tbh, I finished the session a bit down, but at least I didn’t get too many unreal suckouts, more “normal” suckouts, which feels like things are looking up.

I started the session of with the usual headsup matches and I couldn’t catch anything, my steals worked not nearly as much as they would need to carry me through my card-deadness, so there’s not much I could do. Just brutal to see a donk misplay hand after hand after hand and there’s nothing you can do about it. Why? Because he’s hitting TPNK eight times in a row and won’t fold, not ever. Just brutal.

So after that I decided to switch it up a little and played a double-shootout to the sunday million. We started the table with 6 players, which I really liked. As it was no turbo, I didn’t play many hands early, unlike some of the other guys. They kept firing like crazy which I just can’t understand. With 15 minute levels there is so much play left, especially early, so why risk unreal amounts of chips stealing the blinds (30 chips)? Oh well…they payed a dear price for that and so soon enough we were four handed and I didn’t play a single hand yet.

Once I get some hands going I chip up quite a bit and once the fourth player is knocked out I got my hands full. Three handed, time to get something going. Didn’t work out that well. JJ vs A5 s00ted…nut-flush on the turn…I managed to lose the minimum there. Some orbits of up and down and I finally ran my middle- and bottom-pair into top- and bottom-pair. Oh well.

After that, I played some more headsup and managed to win four out of five. Honestly, it should have been five out of five, but I let this donk get to me. I really handed his ass to him and was up 2.2k/800 after the first twenty something hands. Then he started to push, a lot. Normally I would applaude him for doing that, but not this time. I made a little fun of him as I waited for a monster to bust him. Bad thing the monster never showed up and soon enough we were back to even. He still over-raised a lot and it’s just tough to play back with 49, 37 and 28o…my usual holding in those spots. Once I decided to push back with QT s00ted, he didn’t even blink before instacalling with A6o…I can understand him, A6o is the nuts after all….lol….

So…a little down for the night, but at least I saw a little progress in coming back around to the “normal luck level”…that’s fine with me…I’m out…

Today was just like it wasn’t today, but yesterday. I jump into a six-handed SnG and play tight early. As soon as I pick up some hands I’m able to win some small pots. Soon enough we’re down to four, then lose another player, so we’re down to three. One player has a monster-stack and the other guy and me are rather short, although I’m in last position chipwise. Then the following hand comes up…

SB special vs BB special and sure enough the best hand of the night so far is absolutely no good there. Hmm, Gordon’s pair principle says: JJ – 3 handed…4.5% chance that someone holds a higher pair…why oh why does it seem that 4.5% = 100% these days.

After that one I really thought about logging off, but instead I decended into micro limit hell for some more six handed action. I can’t say that my hands held up or anything, but when it counted, they did. So I took down two for two. Wheeeee….so, I finish the night slightly up and that’s good enough for me today…

…and ain’t a damn thing changed. After a nice, pokerless, weekend I returned to the tables tonight and it wasn’t pretty. I started off with some donk action at FullTilt – it’s been a while since I played there, but I decided to redeposit some dough to play in Katitude’s friday night rebuy madness last friday. Played some headsup and managed to pull out 3 wins in 5 tries.

After that, I jumped to PokerStars and shit hit the fan, again. To start things off I play a six-handed SnG and after beating up some donks in a few pots I’m sitting pretty, second in chips, trailing the chipleader only by 200 despite the fact that he had already eliminated a player. So things are good and I look down at JJ. Push comes to shove and sure enough I have the best hand…he has TT…board TxAxx…cya…so fugly.

So I jump into headsup mode and all is good. I win the first two matches easily and then it happens again. I can’t have a god damn hand hold up. Gutshot, boom. Runner runner, boom. Two outer, boom. Three outer, boom…and ain’t it the best when you hold a significant chiplead, then someone runner runners you good to get close to being back in the game and then the following hand comes up…

Guess how that match worked out after that hand? Yup, another lovely bottom pair + gutshot hitting the gutshot on the river a few hands later. Poker is so beautiful sometimes. So…all in all I lost the next 6 matches in a row. Gutterballs, counterfeited two pair, two pair against set etc etc, all the beautiful hands out of the freezer. Lovely. Somehow I managed not to tilt off too badly and won two matches to close the session.

Consolation prize of the night: my bad luck was good enough to finally clear the 10 Billionth hand bonus, so at least my losses for the night are covered, still sucks though. I mean, come on, not a single god damn 4:1 (AA vs KK (see above), 88 vs 55 – he flops a set, JJ vs TT – he flops a set) hand held up for me, I took sick beat after sick beat, how long can this happen to a player? God damn it… oh well…better luck next time…and I’d better have some “more normal” luck soonish as this is just unreal 😉

…it’ll get you. After tonight’s session I could be really pissed, but I’m not, at least not really. It was just one of these lovely days when you can do everything right and you still get kicked in the balls, repeatedly. I’m really tired, after 5am over here, so just a quick wrap-up and a random pic dump…

Stats, PokerStars: Headsup – 12 matches, 6W 6L; Six handed – 2 matches, 1x 2nd, 1x 3rd (bubble)

FullTilt, Friday night Donkarama: 1x Buyin, 4 rebuys, 1 addon, kicked in the balls every time I was about to get my hands on a big stack…final touch KK vs K3 s00ted…totally flushed out in 7th…so fugly…I’m out…nn…
Random Pic dump:

…and you should never argue with a stoned towel. *lol*

Played a little session tonight and started off on a good note. Won the first headsup match easily. Then the usual stuff went down where I played some sloooooow opponent, we trade chips back and forth and once the blinds are big it’s becoming a crapshoot. Guess the result of those matches…yes…I can’t win one because when it’s push or fold I either get no hand or my hand cracked, really sickening.

So two headsup defeats later I decided to play a six handed SnG to finish the session and it was a real interesting match. We had a nice fish (as identified by sharkscope) and some minor winners/losers (money wise). After I busted two players I’m sitting pretty when the blinds start to rise. That’s when the usual blind cooler rolls off…

Oh well…still plenty of chips left. A few hands later the stoned towel busts the shortstack fish. Bubble time and I switch to aggressive blind steal mode as they’re pretty high now. Soon enough I get it in with JJ vs AK…all good until the river K….damn. One time I want to win a flip on the bubble. All good though, still plenty of chips left. Good thing that the player I gave the chips to is a total rock, he will fold into eternity unless he’s got a monster preflop or has less than 5BB…soon enough he’s down to 5BB and get’s eliminated.

So it’s me and mr. stoned towel headsup. He got a 2:1 chiplead. One double up with A4 later and I’m 2:1. I win some pots, lose some pots. Soon enough we get it in AQ vs QJ…the whole three outs prevail and he’s got the lead again. I pick up another monster A4 and win the pot. Then we get it in again K10 vs QJ and the K on the flop seals the deal.

So I win it and mr. stoned towel goes off about how bad I played and how lucky I got with the A4 etc. I try to talk to him in a normal way explaining what should be common knowledge…if I’ve got an ace headsup and an ace hits the flop in an unraised pot…well…sure I’m going to call your bets. He doesn’t hear me though so I have a little fun with him, but it’s just not worth it, he’s just sour that he didn’t win, after all pushing in preflop with QJ twice isn’t really +ev…but that’s beside the point. I finally won a six handed again after a drought of a few days. Cool stuff….I’m off…

No real fun because of the cards, but because of the company. Play my usual shorthanded SnG and got sucked out on within the first orbit, cya. Won a headsup match and then I decended to the depths of donkey-heaven/hell.

I played a few 1$ SnGs with two friends and boy was it fun. The play ranged from “good” to absolute donkdome (all-in every hand). It was quite funny, although my mates were on my left in all games. Oh well…did fairly well dodgin numerous bullets and donkey-kicks and finish ITM two out of three. The finishes were bubble (4th), 3rd and 2nd for a hefty profit of 0.9$, lol.

After that I played a last HU SnG, my good ol’ favourite PLO8 and wouldn’t you know, I ran into one of the leaderboard’s finest (5$ ones, 3rd place). Played for almost an hour before he finally finished me off. Oh well, it was fun. I’m off now, Full Tilt Strategy Guide Tournament Edition arrived today to keep me company…

That sounds about right. Today’s play was both awful and awfully painful. I’ve seen it all today, from the lovely case-card (one outer), to the usual two, three and four outer to the usual cold-deck bs.

Sooooo fugly. I start HU and win the first three matches easily. No flips, no all-ins preflop, I get my opponents to put in their money drawing very slim and they don’t catch. Nice. Next thing you know I’ve dropped 6 matches in a row and a nice string of bs hand…from the usual 88 vs KK…to the AT vs Q6 (guess the river card)…to the case card, everything in there brother.

I’ll spare you the other screenshots as they make me wanna puke even while uploading them. So I’m three out of 10 and I seriously consider quitting as it’s obvious that I won’t make any dough today. Instead I decide to fill the dozen. So I win the 11th match and then in the 12th match the same bs again and I decide to quit NL for the night (5/12).

So I fire up a PLO8 game and the same bs over and over again. I start with the best hand and guess what, I can’t make a hand, not even if my life depended on it. Then it’s finally time to have the best hand, my opponent catches perfect to quarter me on the river. After that I was basically tilted and ready to close friggin PS, but I finished the match. The next hand seals the deal…very nice to see yet another case card…wheeeeeeee….gives me enough to finally hang myself….

In remotely Tilt related news, Amazon managed to ship out my newest order yesterday, so the Full Tilt Strategy Guide Tournament Edition should arrive tomorrow or something….nice…finally a new read…

Not much poker playing today, just the usual bit of headsup. Played 7 matches and managed to win 4 of them, should have been 6, but hey, I can’t do much more than put my money in way ahead. The most beautiful match was against a real aggressive oberbetting donk. I let him run me over, time and time again, then when it was time to get payed off big time he sucked out on me on the river. His advice 2 sec after the suckout: Dude, buy a book, you’re awful. *lol* *lol* *lol* I didn’t even get into arguing with this donk, because it would be a total waste of my time, I just told him “ah, we have another gracious suckout winner. gg enjoy”. So beautiful how some donks behave on the faceless interweb, so beautiful.

But enough of the online poker chatter…it’s time for some shout-outs:

1. The first shout-out goes out to BuddyDank. I stumbled upon your “poker radio” and I really enjoyed the mix so far when I’m playing. Cool stuff there, keep it up…especially dropping the f-bomb while giving updates on blogger tourneys in progress (e.g. yesterday’s rebuy donkfest….m’fuckin breaktime…m’fuckin be right back….m’fuckin final-table….just beautiful to hear some good old swearing in the a.m. 😉 ).

2. The second shout-out goes out to Dr. Pauly. I respect him a lot, not only because he’s one of if not the best poker blogger around, but because he “introduced” me to the whole blogger tourney thing, back when he held his series at PokerStars. After today, my respect has risen to a whole new level though:

Source: PokerNews.com

Damn! Talk about representing the poker blogger community! REPRESENT!

That’s how my competition should feel tonight. Even though there were some nice coolers and stuff, I managed to whip most of my opponents as the coolers happened once I had grinded them down quite a bit.

So the stats for tonight: HU NL HE 2W 1L, 4ppl HU: 1W, PLO8 HU 1W…so 4 out of 5 wins…wheeeeee…I’m off…

My favourite hand of the night: The hand before that I got coolered, yet again, Q8 vs QT…sure enough the other two queens show up and sure enough the money goes in…good thing that I’m still the chipleader after that pot as he had already dumped half his stack to me. Than this hand comes up…

…is fun, especially if you’re dealing with total morons. Then again, does it lead anywhere? Not really, but it’s fun, although not that much fun if you’re dealing with lucky ignorant self-righteous asswhipes who think they invented poker, lol.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. After two days of poker playing abstinence I jumped back into the donkpool that’s known as PokerStars to mankind. It didn’t take long before the first bs hand went down. A few weeks back it would have probably catapulted me straight into tilt-land, but hey, I’m over that, at least for the most part.

The usual, hey I’ve got an Ace, that’s gotten be golden, even if the dude raising all-in hasn’t play a hand in two orbits and has shown nothing but the nuts, wait, how do I even know that, I couldn’t care less, I’m worried about my own cards here.

After that I jumped into headsup mode and the same bs went down…

The hammer flop should have given it away, but hey. I didn’t tilt either and took him out a few hands later. Then in the next one, just when you think you’ve seen it all, the biggest cooler comes down. I mean, you get the money in better than anything (4:1) and then the flop comes down. I titled this one the “jackpot cooler”, lol.

Oh well…always nice to flop top boat against quads. *lol*. I took him out a few hands later. Then I donked around a little in the PLO8 headsup matches, won one lost one. Then I tried another six handed SnG…guy cold-calls the flop…the turn brings the nutflush and he leads out…I reraise…the dude behind me cold calls…button dude calls…river double pairs the board…oh shit…I lead out he pushes…now I’m stuck…I guess I should have layed it down, but hey…no error-free session…guy behind me reluctantly folds…button calls….shows his monster Q2 s00000ted….nice hand sir, at least on the flop…

Oh well…I jump back into HU mode and drop one. Win the next one. Then the next bs hand comes down in the third one and I’m sick and tired of it. I congratulate him on his nice catch.

He then goes of and tells me about how this is no bad beat as it’s only a bad beat when you get the money in good. Errrm yeah Einstein, as if there’s any chance to not go broke in that hand. He then tells me my next fault was that I didn’t raise on the flop. Errrm yeah Einstein, the concept is to lead at it hard there with three Kings, way to make money in headsup. He then tells me that after the flop he was on a freeroll anyway. Errm yeah Einstein…shut the hell up donkey boy. You got lucky on my ass catching your moronic three outs and I got unlucky, not only because you caught your friggin three outs, but because I didn’t catch mine on the turn or river and the board sure as hell didn’t pair either, surprise surprise. You gotta love it. But enough ranting, my finishing line was the usual. Nicely done sir, enjoy. I guess he won’t looking at his stats.  Apropos stats, I won the whole 0% coinflips, 0% going in 60/40 (two live vs two live with one over). Mix in the whole “cracking your hands” thing and it’s been one hell of a ride…right into the shitcan. Fucking poker 😉